My Experience with Truth

Received from Rahul Kumar (The Unborn Soul)
My Experiment With Truth
Joy Guru !There is more than one crore followers of Shri Shri Thakur Anukulchandra. And everyfollower definetly see Thakur in their own level and different way andtheir experiences are different. I want to share my experience about Tthakurji."Arjuna, howsover men seek Me, even so do I approach them ; for allmen follow My path in everyway. (Gita 4.11)It was year 1992 when first time satsang was organised in my home,and it touched my heart. Same year I went to Deoghar with family members.Time Shri Shri Borda(Thakur's elder son) was present. I saw him and at that timemy age was 9 years. And I so much impressed with teachings of Thakurthat I wanted to take diksha and mantra(Holy name). But it was notpossible that time because minimum age for diksha was 12 years. Then I startedfollowing the teachings of thakur and become pure vegetarian and startedparticipating in satsang that was organized locally. But slowly my beliefon thakur decreased because that time I thought that every work of mine wasdone by Thakur, for example, when could not do my homework, then I had to face insult of teacher or when I could not prepare well for exam then I couldnot get good marks in the examination. Thakur's words are very suitable at that place-Oh, you who would devotees bewith hope for name and riches,don't make me your Lord and Master.Beware ! If mastery withinawaken not,-Master, Centre- none you have,and deceiving, you shall be deceived.(Satyanusaran)Other reason for my belief ended on thakur was that some personal butspritual questions came in my mind were :-(1)Who am I ?(2)Who created this world ?(3)What happens after Death ?(4)Is there any point where sky is ends, if yes, then at that place what is there ?(5) Who created this world?This type of question came in my mind at age of 9-10. But I could not findanyone who could give answer of my questions. In 1995 I visited Deogharsecond time and my age was12, but i was not taking interestin diksha because several types of doubt started coming in my mind aboutthakur, like- Why should I follow Thakur ? Is thakur really a god-incarnation like Ramor Krishna.? If yes, then what was a proof because he lived like a simpleperson and if Thakur was a man just like me(2 eyes, 1 nose2 ear, two hand, two leg) then what is difference. So finally I told myfamily member that I shall not follow Thakur any more.Then I stopped participating in any satsang or prayer and thendegeneration in my life started. And in year 1998 once again I startedtaking non-veg foods. Sometimes those questions (which I already discuscedin above lines) started coming in my mind and that time I became serious.So years passed but I did not get my answer. Then a new type of thoughtcame in my mind that I can't get answers of my questions till death.Then one thing also came in my mind that if there were any God then heshould definitely give answer of my questions. Otherwise there is no God.Then I came in bad company and started reading vulgur booksand also started smoking occasionaly with friends for fun. Then athought came in my mind that there is nothing like sin or virtue. there isno God. In year 2004, I read some essays of Osho and my belief on Godended. Same year in august I saw a book "Gita" . Before this I neverread single verse of Gita. What happened I don't know one thing comein my mind that why not I read it once ultimately I need not believe inGod. But when I started reading the Gita then a Mirracle happened with me.The verses from Gita started striking my mind and i felt(in internallevel) that lord Krishna was giving me the teachings of the and when I readthe whole Gita I felt that I was somwhere else and not present in earth. Thattime I felt Oh! No one told me this thing in my life before. Someverses which really made me brave internally was:-"Know That alone to be imperishable which pervades this universe ; forno one has power to destroy this indestructible substance(soul) (Gita 2.17)"Arjuna, when you have achieved enlightenment, ignorance will delude youno more. In the light of that knowledge you will see the entire creation firstwithin your own self, and then in Me (the Oversoul). (Gita 4.35)"Even though you were the most sinful of all sinners, this knowledgealone would carry you, like a raft, across all your sins. (Gita 4.36)"The Yogi whose mind is sated with jnana(knowledge of Nirguna Brahma)and Vijnana(knowledge of manifest Divinity), who is unmoved under anycircumstances, whose senses are completely under control, and to whomearth, stone and gold are all alike, is spoken of as a God-realized soul. (Gita 6.8)"There is nothing else besides Me, Arjuna. Like clusters of yarn-beads formedby knots on a thread, all this is threaded on Me. (Gita 7.7)"In the very last of all births the enlightened person worships Me by realizingthat all this is God. Such a great soul is very rare indeed. (Gita 7.19)"The fruit gained by these people of small understanding, however, isperishable. The worshippers of gods attain gods(like indra,varun etc) ;whereas My devotees, howsoever they worship Me, eventually come toMe and Me alone . (Gita 7.23)"He who departs from the body, thinking of Me alone at the time of death,attains My state; there is no doubt about it. (Gita 8.5)"Arjuna, all the worlds from Brahmloka( lok of bramha) downwards areliable to appear and reappear. But, O son of kunti, on attaining Me thereis no rebirth. (Gita 8.16)"Even if the vilest sinner worships Me with exclusive devotion, he shouldbe accounted a saint ; for he has rightly resolved (He is positive in hisbelief that there is nothing like devoted worship of God). (Gita 9.30)"Speedily he becomes virtuous and attains abiding peace. Know it forcertain, Arjuna, that My devotee never suffers degradation. (Gita 9.31)"Fix your mind on Me, be devoted to Me, worship Me and make obeisanceto me; thus linking yourself with Me and entirely depending on Me, youshall come to Me. (Gita 9.34)"Give your mind to Me, be devoted to Me, worship Me and bow to Me.Doing so you will come to Me alone, I truly promise you; for you areexceptionally dear to Me. (Gita 18.65)"Resigning all your duties to Me, the all-powerful and all supportingLord, take refuge in Me alone; I shall absolve you of all sins, worry not (Gita 18.66)And this Gita was published by ISKCON, famous for Hare Krishna movementall around the world. And when finished the Gita I really become a differenttype of person. And I decided to spend my life for Krishna. At that momentI am so much happy becaus I never expected that I got this type of guarantee(Gita 18.66) and also i started getting answers of my questions. Then Istarted reading books written by Bhakti Vedant Swami Prabhupad(founderof ISKCON). And I reached that conclusion that Chaitnya Mahaprabhu wasKrishna himself and some months ago I also got a bhajan written by Mirabaiwhich clearly prove that Krishna came in form of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu:-"Ab to hari naam lau lagi lSab jagko yah makhan chora, naam dharyo vairagi llKit chori wah mohan murli, kit chori sab gopi lmur murai dori kati bandhi mathe mohan topi llMat jasomati makhan karan, bandhe jake pau lShyamkishore bhayo nav gaura, Chaitanya jako nau llPitamberko bhav dikhabe, kati kopin kase lGaur Krishnaki dasi Mira, rasna Krishna base llThen i start searching Sadguru(true master) to get Divine love of"Radhakrishna". Then I decided to join Iskcon for this purpose. Thenin year 2005(april) I went to one of my relative and I visitedIskcon temple. But that place did not satisfy me. Because I did not get anyenvironment of that type of divinity which I wanted after I the Gita.The temple was very beautiful no doubt but I did not visit thatplace just for watching temple. Also environment of that place is inwestern style. At that place I also did not fine any true master. So mysearch for true master did not end at that time. Then same year Igot two books "Purshotam( biography of Sri Sri Thakur in hindi writtenby Sri jagdish narayan in 1954) and Sriramkrishna vachanamrit (last fouryear[1882-1886] discussion of Sriramkrishna paramhansa". Thesebooks werefirstly written by one of main bhakt "master mahasya" and orginal bookname was Sriramkrishna kathamrit in bangla and then later translated inhindi by ''pandit suryakant tirpathi nirala")Then I read Purshotam. And at one place it strike in my mind, theselines are of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu-"sarvkal tumra sakle mor aang laei janam jenona janiba janam janam llaei janam jeno tumi sab aamar sange lnirvadhi acho sankirtan sukh range llaei mat aache aar dui avtar lkirtan anand roop hoibo aamar lltahateu tumi sab aei mat range lkirtan kariba maha sukhe aama sange ll---- Sri Sri Chaitanya bhagvat, middile volume, chapter-26meaning-O my parshads of kirtan. you are my parshads of my previous births.in this life you enjoying sankirtan , same way when my next two avtar happenthen you are also with me and enjoying great happiness of kirtan.But after reading "purshotam" my search for Sadguru(true master) did notend. Then I started reading "Sriramkrishna vachnamrit". Beforereading Ramkrishna vachanamrit my thought about Sri Ramkrishna Paramhansawas not very high. Because at that time I just heard about Sri RamkrishnaParamhans that he was a worshipper of kali. But my belief was on krishnaand also that krishna was supreme god(but this time kali, krishna,jesus,nirgun brahm, mohamad all is one just like jesus words on bible- me andmy father was one) so one thing also come in my mind that Ramkrishnaparamhans was not very important because he was worshipper of kali. But when Istarted reading Ramkrishna vachanamrit I got the idea that Ramkrishnaparamhans was brahm himself. And when I read more and more thenmy doubts are started clearing. Then I also felt that Sri Ramkrishna paramhansawas giving me direct teaching. Then at one place some lines struck me-"pahle se hi mujhe sab dikha diya jata hai l Battalle me maine gaurangke sankirtan ka dal dekha tha l usme sayad balram so dekha tha aurtumhe bhi sayad dekha tha l................................................................................................."aek baar aur aana hoga l Isliye parsado ko sab gyan mai nahi deta(haste hue)tumhe agar sab gyan de de, to phir tum log sahaj hi mere pas kyo aaoge ?(edition 2003,vol-1 page-402, 24 dec 1883)meaning-i see everything before. i see sankirtan dal of gaurang(anothername of chaitanya mahaprabhu) in battale. in this sankirtan group i maysee balram(one of the main bhakt of ramkrishna paramhans) and mayalso see you(master mahasya). i came once again. that's why i not giveall knowledge to parsads. if i give you all knowledge then how you cameeasily to me.Then thought that Sri Ramkrishna came in form of incarnaton of God. This time Istill had some doubt in my mind. But when Ii read these lines my alldoubt about next avtar of Sri Ramkrishna paramhans was clear-"Jo antrang hai, unki mukti na hogi l vayavya disa me aek baar aur(mujhe) deh dharan karna hoga l( vol-2,page-991, 9 aug 1885)meaning-those who are my personal(bhakt) was not get mukti. I shall againtake birth in vayabya direction.Then i thought that if Thakur was really an avatar then definataly takingbirth in vayabya direction. Thakur's birth place was Himayatpur villageof Pabna district of Bengal(currently in Bangladesh). I read in some booksthat vayabya direction means north-east. Then i start searching in mapof bangladesh that what is the exact position of pabna district. Andwhen I saw that Pabna district is situated at last point of bangladeshon north-east direction. then I really got surprised and thinks ohthis is not less than a miracle for me.before I could find this after 10 years I visited Deoghar on occasion ofagaman diwas(celebrated every year on 2nd sep) of Sri Sri Thakur fromPabna to Deoghar. Then i thought that why not I take diksha of Sri SriThakur. because he fulfills me everyway and Krishna has come himself in formof Thakur. And in Ddecember month of 2005 i took deeksha. And after takingdiksha all my doubts were cleared. And noproblem affected me personally. Then I also took swastayani brata in year 2007.Thakur also accepted it indirectly at one place that I am Ramkrishna Paramhansbefore this birth:-Sri Sri Thakur - "Ramkrishnadev ne kaha tha - 'abhi sab gyan nahi de rahahoon .' unhone closed rakh diya tha kuch, kintu mai sab disclosed karde raha hoon .....alochana parsange, vol-1the collection of bani of Sri Sri Thakur was available on bangla book-'punyapunthi'. These bani was given by Sri Sri Thakur at samadhi stage.Due to lack of knowledge of bangla I can't read all bani of Thakur. Iread just some bani which was published in monthly hindi magzineor available in biography of thakur :-".....Trust me and give me everything. Sure, be glad, everything will makeyou glad ! Spit on and spurn the sin, not the man - the sinner !When I was before, He was latent in me! When I was before, you havelatent in me! When I was you, you were, I, I was the only one - I waslatent in me! Think yourselves. you were latent in me. Whole creationis you - No doubt the spirit. I was the sound, sound is my creation ;therefore you are created by me. Only sound is your spirit, no doubt!peaceful heart can make everyone peaceful. Come to me, I will give youeverything, no doubt! Be fearless and proceed on and on! Check your tongueand kiss the feet. Draw the heart fast. Atom can feel atom!...''...My lord! I am nothing but I- you must think all is not littile all, allis - supreme soul. I am supreme soul - the Parabrahma.vande pursotbam !!